


Walmart Brand Handsome

by Anonymous



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, Kinda, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 10:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12252567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: "Because I am Zhang Yixing: God of Beauty and Love." He smiled, "And I have taken on a mortal form just for you.""Oh?" Sehun nodded, his facial features softening with a tilt of his head, "Well in that case ..."---"Please return me at once!" Yixing pleaded, struggling against the two security guards who were gripping his biceps tightly and dragging him out the sliding doors of the super store.





	Walmart Brand Handsome

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Reader,
> 
> Life is pain. Anybody telling you otherwise is selling something. Or they're a demi-god. Or in need of sleep. I am one of these things.
> 
> \- Writer

"Hello. I'm here to ask for your hand in marriage, mortal."

Sehun looked up from the magazine that he was intently staring at in front of him. There was a man on the other side of the desk standing triumphantly with his palm against the table top where he had slammed it down dramatically moments before. He looked to be maybe couple years older than himself.

Without closing his issue of rock sound, he quirked an eyebrow at the man and said, "So are you making a return or?"

The guy looked a bit puzzles at that, but the expression of confusion didn't last for very long. He pulled his palm away and straightened up his posture anymore, squaring up to speak again.

"I am not exactly sure what a return is." He said calmly, "But if it would serve to gain your eternal affection then I'd like to take part in it."

Sehun sighed, "Listen, buddy. This is guest services for Walmart. I'm not sure what you're strung out on right now, but if you don't move along I'll have to call security."

That same look of confusion crossed the other man's face again. It seemed to shake him a bit more this time, but again he managed to recover, stepping closer to the desk to look at Sehun with a firmness.

"Please hear me out." He said calmly.

Sehun rolled his eyes, "Okay, fine. Go."

"I have been watching you for a while now and have decided that you are the most perfect mortal on this plane. I have paid the ultimate price to come to you like this." He said, his voice thick with emotion despite the fact that he seemed to maintain a calm and cool composure while speaking.

"So why is that exactly?" Sehun asked, pointing his sharp eyes at him.

"Because I am Zhang Yixing: God of Beauty and Love." He smiled, "And I have taken on a mortal form just for you."

"Oh?" Sehun nodded, his facial features softening with a tilt of his head, "Well in that case ..."

* * *

"Please return me at once!" Yixing pleaded, struggling against the two security guards who were gripping his biceps tightly and dragging him out the sliding doors of the super store.

Once they reached the edge of the concrete sidewalk, they both swung their arms at once, dishing him out onto the faded lines indicating a crosswalk between the sidewalk and massive parking lot on the other side of it. He landed firmly on his ass and winced, hating the sensation that came along with landed on the pavement.

"Consider yourself lucky you aren't banned from the store, man." The one with a name tag reading Yifan said. “Sorry, I mean Zhang 

"Please." Yixing said, clasping his hands together to beg at the two of them, "If I just had a few more minutes to explain myself to Sehun, he would understand."

The other one (with the name tag reading Tao) shook his head, "Sorry. No can-do. You gotta go."

Yixing sighed, turning his head down for a moment before collecting himself and standing up from the ground. He shook off whatever that annoying feeling was and brushed off his pants. Upon looking back up, he saw the security guards chatting to each other as they waited for him to leave, obviously not going back in until he had left.

"Guy is insane." YIfan said lowly, "Sehun told me he said he was a god."

Tao laughed quietly in response, "Feels like they get crazier every time."

_Perhaps another day, then._

He sighed, walking off down the road with no respect for the cars or flow of traffic that was occurring. He was only thinking about the comments the two yellow clothed men had made. Had times changed so much that humans don't believe in the gods anymore? Was he mistaken to have come to the mortals expecting understanding?

None of these thoughts deterred him in the slightest. He was, of course, Zhang Yixing: God of Beauty and Love. And he had found the most beautiful human with whom he was determined to love.

He turned away form the parking lot and onto a real road then, stepping out in front of a car and causing it to lay on its horn. Startled, he looked up, but didn't move out of the way. This meant that the car hd to swerve around him suddenly.

"Watch where the fuck you're going!" The person yelled out the window as he whizzed past.

This vehicle went very fast and didn't seem to enjoy him being in front of it.

He felt a hand yank him back from the road then.

"Whoa, are you okay?" The guy said, a face full of concern.

Yixing looked at him with wide eyes. This was a very pretty immortal. Not as beautiful as Sehun by any means, but with sharp eyebrows and small stature.

"Are you in shock?" He asked, "You just stepped out in front of that jeep."

"Jeep?" Yixing asked.

"Yeah ... that car that almost hit and killed you was a jeep." He explained.

"Oh ..." Yixing nodded, seeming to understand, "It seems I have a lot to learn about this world still."

"Wait." The guy frowned, "What?"

* * *

Jongdae strolled up to the service desk, obviously unwanted by Sehun who was flicking through the pages of what looked like a comic book. Even after he made his way all the way up to the counter, Sehun didn’t address him. Either out of apathy or because he genuinely didn’t see Jongdae.

“Hey.” Jongdae tapped on the counter a few times. “Sehun, can I talk to you?”

“And you are?” Sehun asked to the comic book.

“Kim Jongdae. You dated my roommate for a little while.” He got no response from Sehun. “Minseok.”

“Oh yeah. I remember you.” Sehun was obviously lying. “What can I do for you?”

Jongdae glanced around nervously. Two tall security guards were leaning up against a wall and laughing, probably at the little kid that kept hitting his mother in the shin with a plastic baseball bat near the checklanes. Besides that there was nobody within earshot to hear his outrageous statements.

“So another one of my friends came in here yesterday to talk to you and I think he might have been a touch drunk.” Jongdae explained, carefully leaving out the part where Yixing was almost hit by a car and then taken home by Jongdae since he was babbling gibberish and probably in shock. “His name is Yixing.”

He also neglected to leave out that once he started actually listening to what the man had to say, he claimed to be the god of love and beauty who took immortal form to court the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. Spoiler alert: It’s Sehun and not Jongdae. Jongdae was disappointed.

However, on his way to get ice cream, (aka the police station but he wasn’t going to tell Yixing that) the supposed god told him that he could endow him with charm beyond the ages. To which Jongdae jokingly agreed because at this point why the hell not. And was instantly met with every person turning their eyes to him as they past. Four girls and two guys stopped him and demanded he give them his number and after that Jongdae was pretty much sold on the idea of his new roommate being a god.

“That crazy dude?” Sehun put down the pages finally. “Why on earth are you friends with him?”

“Listen.” Jongdae sighed. “He has a little bit of a crush on you and he was out drinking and long story short, he’s real sorry.”

“Real sorry, eh?” Sehun sighed. “Listen, I’ll unban him from the store.”

“Oh, he’s banned?” Jongdae frowned. “That kinda sucks because he’s in here right now.”

Just then one of the security guards leapt off the wall. “Hey you!”

He pointed his fingers at Yixing who was dressed in a baggy gray sweatshirt with the hood up and sunglasses over his eyes. Yixing was instantly startled by Tao’s voice and looked directly at him. The two security guards jogged over to him and Yixing snatched a bag of chips from the rack near one of the check out lanes.

“No, don’t mind me. I’m just buying some … chez ites.” Yixing stuttered. “I love these orange squares so much. Just like the other patrons here.”

Yifan and Tao let out laughs before both reaching out and grabbing one of Yixing’s arms. Yifan chuckled, “Sorry, buddy, but you can’t be in here. No deities allowed.”

Yixing resisted, futilely pulling back from the two men. “I’m the God of Love and Beauty. Can you at least properly address me?” 

Sehun laughed, finding a lot of amusement in the display that was occurring just beyond his desk. Between his laughs he managed to wave his hand and call off the dogs. “Hey, guys. Lay off. He’s good.”

Yifan raised his eyebrows. “You sure?”

“Yeah. He’s a friend of a friend. Consider him unbanned.” Sehun shrugged, falling back in his chair and waiting for the security guards to let Yixing go.

They did somewhat reluctantly comply by releasing his arms and watching him pull the bag of Cheez-its closer to his chest. With one final look and shrug to each other, they resigned the attack, retreating back to the comfort of the wall they seemed to enjoy leaning against so much.

“Yixing, come on!” Jongdae waved him over.

Yixing cautiously approached the two of them, still tightly clutching the little red bag of crackers like they were his lifeforce.

“Hello, Oh Sehun.” Yixing greeted, bowing slightly.

“Dude, just call me Sehun.” The person in question gave him an eyeroll. “Look you’ve caused a little bit too much ruckus around here, okay. I like the status quo so I’ll give you a single date and then you leave me be, okay?”

Yixing raised his eyebrows, glancing quickly at his moral support character Jongdae who nodded, lowly chanting, “Deal. Deal. Take the deal.”

“Ah …” Yixing stammered, looking back at the object of his affection. “I agree to the terms of the engagement.”

Jongdae let out a pained sigh, quite literally facepalming as he watched Sehun go from mildly entertained to confused in the face. “Come on, Yixing. He’ll pick you up tomorrow at 8, okay?”

Sehun nodded, his jaw still lack as he watched Jongdae drag the strange guy away

* * *

The next day, Jongdae got home from work around 6 PM (they closed one of the interstate exits so he was not only late, but in a bad mood. So when moody Jongdae arrived back at his apartment, he found Yixing sitting on the couch, watching The Price is Right while wearing the exact same clothes from yesterday.

“Yo.” Jongdae greeted with an eyebrow raised.

Yixing failed to respond, still very interested in the television.

Jongdae sighed, “Earth to Yixing.”

“Hold on. I’m curious as to how much that electrical bread toaster costs. I guess four chickens, but I believe the currency system here is slightly different.” Yixing kept his eyes intent on the string.

It was sadly not worth four chickens, however, and Yixing snapped his fingers angrily in response. If Jongdae had been in any state of mind to think rationally about things, perhaps he would have found the situation to be mildly entertaining, but alas, he was unable to focus on that at them time and decided to shrug it off.

“Don’t you have a date soon?” Jongdae walked into his room, just off the main area, but left the door open to continue talking to Yixing.

“Oh, so a car is worth many many dollars. Interesting.” Yixing noted before responding. “I do indeed. This website called Pinterest said that getting burgers and milkshakes is an ideal plan.”

Jongdae tugged his shirt up over his head and tossed the godforsaken polo _somewhere_ in the room. Where it landed served no purpose to him until he would fumble around in the dark looking for it a couple of mornings from now, so he couldn’t bring himself to care. “While that sounds lovely, Yixing. How are you going to do that? Where are you getting those things? And are you wearing your clothes from yesterday?”

Yixing sighed, not at all happy with the idea of leaving the couch where he was so excitedly learning about the prices of common items through several year old reruns of a TV show. He made his way into Jongdae’s room and began picking at all the clothes on ground, gathering a few of them up and tossing others aside. Jongdae, still in a weird mood, let out his umpteenth sigh of the day and just let the strange man pick at his clothing.

For a couple of seconds Yixing was entirely inside of Jongdae’s closet. He heard the telltale snap of him opening the plastic bins where he kept his clothes for different seasons. After officially changing into his favorite pairs of sweats, Jongdae finally addressed Yixing.

“Why are you in my closet, dude?” Jongdae pinched the bridge of his nose.

Yixing stepped out sporting a pair of black slacks that were a touch too short on him but were always a little long on Jongdae anyways. He also had on one of those white edgy graphic tees from Jongdae’s college years and a navy blue leather jacket on top of the whole outfit. Though not an entirely conventional outfit, he looked stunning.

And somehow his hair, flat and unshowered from before, was suddenly styled up and making him look devilishly handsome.

“Oh wow.” Jongdae commented.

“I picked you out a couple of outfits too.” Yixing tossed some sets of clothes on his bed. “You have to take me to see Sehun and I would expect you to look nice.”

“First of all … I didn’t even know I had a lot of these clothes so what the fuck. Secondly, I’m not playing chauffeur for your disastrous future date with a human.”

Yixing seemed offended, playing up an exaggerated expression. “It won’t be disastrous. I’m the God of Love. I’m just not used to how humans court in this time. Plus, I’m sure we could find a lovely date for you as well!”

Jongdae briefly looked over to himself in the mirror as it were the camera in The Office, giving a deadpan expression that only he would see. However, it wasn’t like he had anything better to do on a Friday night, and he was certain to experience a trainwreck with this course of action so … maybe it wasn’t a terrible idea. His netflix queue can wait.

“Fine.” Jongdae put a hand up. “Okay, I’ll drive you.”

“Yes!” Yixing did a quick fist pump.

“Don’t do that.” Jongdae sassed. “And don’t say court. It’s a date. And don’t … don’t make that face either.”

* * *

“Stop reading things, please.” Jongdae pleaded.

“Your wife is hot.” Yixing frowned. “Why would a billboard say that? Oh, I see it also says to install a cold shower for her. Interesting marketing.”

Jongdae dropped his forehead to the steering wheel in defeat. Why on earth he was even putting up with the God of Confusion and Ignorance was beyond him at this point. If he wasn’t gridlocked about a block and a half from Sehun’s place then he would have already turned the car around and dropped Yixing off at a mental hospital. Sure, maybe he actually is a God, but nobody was going to believe that.

“Are you upset?” Yixing asked, turning his attention away from the signs and billboards finally.

“No, I just love making out with my steering wheel. It’s a hobby of mine.” His voice was muffled.

Yixing was still perplexed. “Is this something I should know about for the date?”

“Oh my god.” Jongdae picked his head up from the steering wheel. Nice timing too since the light turned green just then. “No. It’s sarcasm.”

“Sarcasm?”

Jongdae rolled forward, turning down a side street to get to the back of Sehun’s building. “It’s when somebody says the opposite of what they mean. It implies that something was too stupid to respond to properly.”

This seemed to genuinely hurt the ex-god’s feelings. He looked away from Jongdae towards the door to Sehun’s building. They came to a gentle stop and Yixing felt an emotion well up inside of him. “Do you really find me to be stupid? I understand that this century is complex and different. I may be out of touch with human society, but really, I am trying my hardest.”

Jongdae put the car into park and rolled his eyes. It was going to be a rollercoaster of a night at this rate. He looked over at Yixing and realized that this guy was not in fact being facetious, however, and actually looked as if he was going to break down into sobs at any moment. Jongdae hiked his eyebrows up and became flustered.

“Yixing, no no no. You can’t cry, okay? Sehun is going to be here in a second.” Jongdae glanced back at the door to the building. “Please. No crying.”

Yixing sucked back a sniffle and nodded. “I’ll be strong for my love.”

“Good.” Jongdae nodded. “And … don’t call him that. I mean at least not yet.”

“This process seems quite long for a marriage.”

Jongdae was about to respond when there came a sudden knock at his car window. He snapped his head over to Sehun who was dressed almost as well as the two of them all on his own and sporting a somewhat impatient expression. Jongdae quickly unlocked the doors and pointed to the back seat so Sehun could get in.

The tall man opened the door to the back seat and peeked in, “This girl says she’s coming with us. Is that okay?”

They looked behind Sehun to see a gorgeous girl standing not too far away and waving.

“I suppose this is your date.” Yixing waved her in. “Come now.”

Both Sehun and this mystery girl piled into the back of the car and Jongdae instantly felt way sweatier than he had before. Instead of freaking out any further, and seeing as Sehun’s apathy was intense enough for him to also be calm in the situation, Jongdae put the car back into drive and headed down the road towards their destination.

“So …” Sehun lulled his head over to the girl. “You are?”

“Qian.” She said with a smile. “I’m going on a date with Jongdae.”

Sehun hummed in approval, looking back out the window so there was no need to press conversation further. With that as well, the car remained a in tense, but forgiving silence until the entourage arrived at the diner.

As soon as they were in park, Yixing had bolted out of the door and over to where Sehun was sitting, essentially yanking the door open so he could hold it there for him.

“After you.” Yixing bowed to him.

“Ah …” Sehun’s hand was still outstretched as if going for the handle himself. “Thank you?”

He stood up and out of the car, giving an appreciative nod to Yixing before stepping away and letting him shut the door. Jongdae and Qian both exited the car behind them as well, but with less civility.

“Jongdae, darling. Why didn’t you get the door for me too?” She asked.

“Darling?” Jongdae looked confused. “We just met.”

She shut the door, looking longingly over the top of his base model sedan as she spoke. “But our love is so intense that I thought you would.”

Sehun’s eyes squinted in response, cutting back to the girl he, and actually everybody present, had just met. She continued to make doe eyes in response and Jongdae became instantly uncomfortable with the love potion situation.

“Okay, time to go.” Jongdae jogged away to the diner door, leaving the other three to follow.

* * *

Yixing was flabbergasted by the entire dining experience which was both adorable and embarrassing for different people in the party. Jongdae continued to find Yixing a ball and chain as he pointed out how everything was so shiny and chrome looking. To which Jongdae reminded him that was the whole point.

Sehun, on the other hand, had warmed up ever so slightly, finding Yixing’s awe to be somewhat cute. It didn’t take long for them to get seated and once they were at a red and silver booth, sitting aside their “dates”, Sehun began to talk really.

“You must not be from around here then.” Sehun noted, a little tiny miniscule smile on his lips.

Yixing looked up from the menu he had been concentrating on so intently. “Ah …”

He looked across the table to Jongdae, who nodded as minutely as he possible could.

“Yes.” YIxing smiled. “I’m from some place other than this one.”

Sehun chuckled, flipping the laminated pages of the menu. “From Heaven, right? Since you’re a god and all.”

It was a joke, of course. He was teasing and pointing fun at Yixing for what he was now under the impression was drunken behavior, however, it did give Yixing an exact opportunity to embarrass himself.

“Well, Venus actually.” Yixing corrected him, academia in his voice. “Quite like the planet.”

Jongdae rolled his eyes, attempting to bail Yixing out already. “Ha Ha. Very funny, Xing.”

“He is.” Sehun smiled, “Plus, I like the idea of being asked out by the God of Beauty. I’ll roll with that compliment.”

“You don’t have to do that to compliment someone.” Jongdae said softly.

Qian spoke again then. “But it would be nice to get a compliment at all.”

Yixing nodded, not knowing that he was feeding into the situation. Jongdae kicked him under the table just enough to make Yixing jump. It was his fault that this girl was here anyways. Couldn’t he have made the whole love thing work better anyways?

The hurt look on Yixing’s face said otherwise.

* * *

And so they’re meal went on like that. Back and forth, with Jongdae consistently on the losing side of the situation.

They ordered burgers and milkshakes, Yixing asking Sehun to pick for him because he knew nothing of the food here and seeming elated at his picks. Qian followed by asking Jogndae to pick for her, but seemed to cringe a bit when he decided on what he did. Seriously, the just met. How was he supposed to know she was lactose intolerant even if it was _true love_?

And then of course the inevitable question came up.

“What do you really do?” Sehun asked, picking a fry up and muching away at the salty treat.

“Do?” Yixing was perplexed by this.

“Like … your job.” Sehun explained, still interested in the fries.

Now, Yixing had no occupation. Up until recently his title was just God of Love and Beauty, which is a pretty badass thing to put on a business card, but in that line of work there were no business cards. In fact, he hadn’t had much to do in so long. The gods had generally ceased intervening with human life, instead choosing to grouse and war among themselves over the creation of systems and what not. Some of them had even wanted to do a hard reset of humanity, but it never got off the ground.

Instead, Yixing had spent most of his days just watching humans. Studying how far love had fallen from what it once was. Eventually, he became depressed about the whole endeavor and stopped.

“Now that I’m not a god you mean?” Yixing asked, hoping Sehun would play along.

His date laughed. “Sure, okay. Yeah.”

“Well. I spent a lot of time working on …” He paused, “Where I’m originally from. I did work in fashion and design. But, people seemed to be moving away from traditional values and I found it quite difficult to continue my work in those conditions. I … moved here not too long ago in search of something exciting again. That’s when I saw you and thought out of all of the hundreds of thousands of …” Damn it, Yixing, “Models I had worked with … you were absolutely the most stunning. That’s when I decided I must marry you.”

The sentiment touched Sehun even if he was dubious. “Shucks. I mean, a second date would be the move, but you’ve definitely wooed me.”

Jongdae sat, wondering how on earth this situation was going well for Yixing at all.

“Isn’t that beautifully, Dae?” Qian leaned over, resting her hand in her chin. “That’s what true love is like. Is it anything like how you felt about me the first time we met?”

“You mean two hours ago?” Jongdae asked, setting down his burger for a napkin.

That seemed to be the last straw in whatever power Yixing still had as a mortal, because Qian was not having any of it.

“Seriously?” She reached for her milkshake and unceremoniously tossed it at Jongdae, spilling the slushy-milky contents all over his clothes and embedding some candy pieces on his face.

“What the--” He sputtered too little too late.

“It’s like you don’t even care about us anymore. Jongdae, I thought this was real love. I saw you on that street and I knew you were the one for me, but I guess that’s not enough for you. What do you want?”

Jongdae was wide-eyed right then. “A-ah … a napkin?”

“Is that it?” She hopped out of the booth, her face red and angry, drawing the attention of everybody else in the diner. “A napkin? You could have my undying love or my hand in marriage. I would give you the planets and the stars if you asked me, but you don’t because you don’t even care.”

There were no sentences formulating in anybody’s head, especially the person in question.

She crossed her arms and sighed. “Is this it Jongdae?”

Jongdae, soaking wet, sticky, confused, agitated, irritated, and generally dumbfounded by what was happening to him right then, chose not to speak. What does one even say in that situation.

However, it seemed to seal the deal fro Qian. She huffed and stormed out of the diner, her heels clacking against the black and white tile as she went. It left the three boys at the booth alone. One covered in a milkshake, one extremely disoriented by everything that had just happened, and one that was still confused on what a burger really was.

“Are you just going to …?” Sehun tried to talk, but failed to find thoughts coherent enough.

“You should go console her.” Yixing nodded solemnly. “She’s going through alot right now.”

Jongdae glared at Yixing. “I can’t believe this is happening right now.”

But still, he stood up and left the couple in the booth alone, following the crying stranger out the door and into the parking area. Once the door shut behind them, things seemed to catch back up with reality as the diner resumed its usual activities and people went back to enjoying their meals.

Sehun and Yixing didn’t talk. It was awkward to say the least.

Yixing had no way of moving beyond this point. If humans really courted the way Jongdae had been explaining things then it would be a long time of him pretending to take on a false identity and that did not sit well with him in the slightest. He was the God of Love and Beauty, come to take Sehun’s hand in marriage, not a fashion designer from some other country. Though he could play a role, he hoped he would not have to lie to Sehun nor use charms of love on him.

Love is far better when freely given.

“Hey, Yixing.” Sehun tapped at his plate. “This was … nice. But I think I’m really overwhelmed by … everything. You’re cute and funny and kind and have impeccable style, but I don’t think I can date someone who has this much … intense happenstance in their life.”

Yixing nodded. “I understand.”

“You do?” Sehun raised his eyebrows.

“You are the only person I ever believe to be perfect.” Yixing looked out the window with a somber expression. “I suppose I know no person is perfect. I should have expected they same would apply to myself.”

It was a far cry from a happy statement, but it was the truth.

Sehun bit his lip and put a hand on Yixing’s back. “I’ll get going now, if that’s alright. I’ve got the bill.”

Yixing had no idea what that meant but he let Sehun get up out of the booth and walk over to another employee and exchange pieces of plastic. There was really not much left for Yixing to think other than that he had completely and utterly failed as a mortal. 

But he didn’t consider giving up. No, he had far too much invested to do that. He was determined to go out and better himself as a person until Sehun would agree to marrying him. That was the only thing he could consider viable at this point.

With that in mind, he stood up, exiting the way they entered and coming down the ramp. Sehun was on the phone not too far away from where Jongdae was cleaning himself up with a towel, Qian nowhere in sight. Yixing walked down the ramp and met Jongdae at the bottom of it. He was met with a cold shoulder as Jongdae tried to get sticky residue out of his well styled hair.

“Jongdae-” Yixing started.

“Don’t.” Jongdae stated firmly, turning away.

Yixing sighed.

Just then, there was a loud noise that appeared out of nowhere, startling Sehun and Jongdae suddenly.

With a brilliant flash of bright white light and cotton candy tints of pink, the sky seemed to split in half. All the air particles around them vibrated uneasily and for a couple of seconds, Sehun and Jongdae both had to shield their eyes.

Out of the stunning display came a piercing voice, “Yixing! What the fuck?”

The light disappeared in an instant, leaving two boys standing in the parking lot in its wake.

“Baekhyun-I-” Yixing started.

“Don’t Baekhyun-I me, Yixing.” Baekhyun pointe a finger at him angrily. “What the fuck have you been doing? Luhan and I have been looking all over for you. Why are you on earth?”

“I’m just … uhh …” Yixing grimaced, knowing that he had no good explanation for what he was going.

Luhan stepped forward and pushed Yixing lightly. “Are you mortal? What is going on?”

A clattering sound of plastic on gravel shook the three Gods out of their heated debate when Sehun dropped his found. He cursed under his breath and immediately bent down to pick it up, but not without gaining the attention of the two other boys first.

“Oh my god, is this-” Baekhyun started.

“You didn’t-” Luhan added.

“It’s not what it seems.” YIxing offered.

Baekhyun scoffed, “Not what it seems? Isn’t this the mortal you’ve been obsessing over for the past decade? Did you make yourself mortal just to talk to your human crush? You’re fucking ridiculous, Yixing.”

“Hey, Baek.” Luhan put a hand on his cohort’s shoulder. “It’s not so bad. Lay off.”

“Just give me one lifetime. It’ll go back in a wink.” Yixing pleaded. “I have to get better at being a human if I want to impress him.”

Both Jongdae and Sehun looked at each other when Yixing said that. 

Luhan and Baekhyun seemed to have conflicting feelings. They turned to each other and quietly conferred in hushed whispers. In the meantime, Yixing clasped his hands together as if praying and Sehun and Jongdae continued to wish they had never met the man.

Eventually, after a couple volleys and a few absurd facial expressions, they seemed to reach a pretty fair resolution. Luhan delivered the news. “One lifetime, Yixing. That’s it.”

Yixing fell to his knees. “Thank you! Thank you! You two are truly the best.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay. No funny business down here or we’ll get Junmyeon.”

The mortal god seemed to sober up at that, climbing back up to stand. “Of course. Understood.”

The two seemed satisfied, turning their back to him and disappearing within a blink of an eye. No lights, not sounds, just a few loose pebbles where their godly sneakers had once been.

It was sunset at this point. Sehun was staring at the spot where they both were before his eyes very gently shifted over to Yixing. He watched him dust off his pants where he had gotten on the ground and then looked back up to the determination in his face.

“So …” Sehun started, “You actually are a god?”

Yixing looked over at him, his eyebrows and eyes peeking up a bit due to the fact that he hadn’t expected Sehun to speak. He smiled at him. “Yes I am.”

“Oh.” Sehun nodded. “What now?”

Yixing shrugged. “I suppose I’ll get a job as you guys would say. Work until I feel like a good human then come back to see you again.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Sehun chuckled, making a weird frowning face in disbelief of what he was about to say. “I guess that now I know you’re a god and all …”

That made Yixing clap and spin towards Sehun in excitement. This startled poor Jongdae who almost fell over. “So you’ll marry me?”

While Jongdae was catching his breath Sehun shook his head in response. “Okay, not just … I mean, let’s do a second date. Okay?”

“Deal!”


End file.
